Power

What a wondrous curse is this
The human mind

Capable of shaping worlds
In its innermost working

Yet housing such horrors
As the memory of a thousand goodbyes

What miracle is its process
Storing, filing ,creating

Oh to possess the ability
To step away from its thunderous reminders

A thought can shape the world
Yet a memory can destroy the future

Shadow

There is a shadow following me 

One I cannot escape

Through twist and turn, rain and shine

The shadow remains

Fire did not cleanse it 

The sun will not wear it away

There is a shadow haunting me 

Shadow of pain remains

Back turned I feel it's stare

Burning into my soul

Forever there

There is a shadow haunting me

The shadow is her memory

No pain is great enough

No distance far enough away

The presence of the shadow always remains

Laughter it echoes in return 

Making bitter even the sweetest of moments

Kindness falls mute by its simple existence

The shadow I fear will soon win

As my will is coming to an end

Hallow it shapes the life I once loved

Replacing my heart with its darkening void

The shadow will win

I fear in the end

As I cast aside this old skin

To find my self once again

Finding myself the shadow will fade

Her memory will finally relinquish to grave

Her darkness must fall from my life's sky

Laughing at Rain 

I forget her to find myself once again

There once was a shadow that haunted me

I left her with the man who cast her into my life

Far away I hear echoes 

There is a shadow haunting his life.

(C) R.M Brandon 6/2016

Through the flames

We lost our home to fire a few months ago. My youngest son has a pet tortoise that is his best friend in the whole world. When the fire erupted my first thought was to get the kids to safety . Once outside my son screamed for his tortoise that was right next to where the fire started. I ran back into the house and tried to get the little guy to no avail. The heat drove me back out the door where my oldest son commented he's right by the window we can break it! The part of my mind still in shock to the reality of what was happening hesitated briefly only to relent to the tears in my sons eyes. We subsequently broke the window , I dove in and pulled the tortoise to safety. That animalistic part of me took over and I ran back into the flames . To this day I'm not sure what I was trying to rescue, my cat Johnny who we lost in the fire, our basset hound Hooter who also perished, or every mermory that clung to the fire crested walls. I ran back in and was drove back out by the smoke and sheer heat atleast a dozen times trying to salvage what I could. 

 Looking back on that fateful day 6 months ago I still try to make sense of it. If my daughter hadn't needed emergency help for burns to her hands I would not have gone to the emergency room. I would not have been treated for smoke inhalation and may have lost my life to the after effects. Something occurred to me today , what I was trying to save in that fire might actually have been myself. Not the physical me that could very well have fallen victim on that day, but the warrior me that had surrendered a long time ago. 

 They say one can only know their true strength when they let the fire wash away all that is unnecessary. There is truth in that saying. On the other side of the Flames I am grateful for all that survived. I am also grateful I stood in the flames long enough to wash away all that I no longer need. In each of us there lies a greater power, a greater calling, a greater purpose. Some are lucky enough to find that calling and pursue it without ever facing a catastrophe . Others, like me, must stand in the flames to learn just how powerful we really are. 

Moments

Moments.
There are moments when I am in control of me.
Moments when the demons fall silent.
Air exchanges freely from atmosphere to lungs, beauty radiates from every aspect of my being and the world is love.
Oh but there are other moments.
When the demons scream so loudly my voice becomes lost, the world grows gray, cold , and the walks close in stealing the air.
Suffocating madness .
The words flow through my mind stealing life. Hers, his, theirs.
What torture is this shadowed existence, head low , heavy from the weight of words .
In these moments I must quiet.
Hate,fear, memories , words , bits if hot air playing their broken record until the blackness consumes all.
The record shatters.
Flung against the very wall it created opening for the light , the air to reenter.
Inside lays the warrior patiently waiting for her moment to strike.
She will rise above the pain, words, lies, memories , shattered expectations to claim the beauty that is her own.
No more will she lay in the shadow of another person's light.

She casts away the demons , calls to those great warriors who have walked before her, and shines.

A fire of beauty all her own , no longer broken pieces of others will .

Moments pass , but it only takes one moment to change the path.

6/2016 R.M. Brandon ©

Fragments

He revolved around her like a satellite to the earth. As if her absence would leave him spinning into an  abysmal void of darkness, shinning his beacon with revolution of her presence. How unfortunate he was already the moon to another woman.