Inside

Inside each of us lives a magical place. It is filled with beauty beyond description, creatures without names, excitement, happiness, and discovery. Some of us forget that world in our youth. We listen to the voices of the world which tell us to be practical, responsible, and prudent. For those , the magic dies. Oh but the ones who refuse to let go, who visit that magical world well into adulthood and share it to the best of their ability. Those are the storytellers, the dream weavers, the few rare beings who make this world a place worth residing in. Never let the world steal your magic. 

A thousand before

Wars rage around the world, fighting over whose God is right. Men kill eachother over thoughts, ideas, soil, things that move on without their bloodshed regardless. To live a life, truly live, is to have lived a thousand lives in one. To experience a thousand sunrises, a thousand sunsets, to have kissed a thousand lips, or a tasted a thousand foods, to have thought a thousand different things, and explored a thousand different places is to live but one life. Yet how many go from birth to death never reading a thousand books? How many close their eyes in one life without ever risking a thousand loves? Life is not about excess nor is it about minuteness . It is about breathing each and every breath to its fullest. 

What glory is there to never risk regection? What comfort is there in never opening a door? Yet how many close the coffin lid and never bother to live before? Loss is the greatest sorrow, it's true. But what greater loss is there than a chance never taken, a love never lost, a battle never waged, sanity never questioned, road never explored? 

Yes I have lived a hundred lives already, some too long, some too short. I have cried a thousand tears, laughed a thousand times, and loved atleast once maybe more. My time has not yet come , but tomorrow could always be the day. I hope that I may get to live atleast 10hundred more. So ask me of my sins or judge me my mistakes. I will not blush or cowar away , those were from a life before . See as I grow I have learned to stop being afraid to open the door. I have sinned , yes I have errors, but I have lived more than once more. Perfection will not be achieved in safety alone. 

Yes I will dance in the full moonlight, or maybe hide and cowar from judging sight, but I will always get up and live once more. No this heart break will not be my death or maybe even a hundred more. No solitude will not dull my mind , nor crowds overwhelm my sense of self, for I know I will live atleast once more. Each day is a gift to start a life anew. Each breath a promise to be and do what you chose to do.  So when my time finally comes and this old body goes no more . Smile when they close that coffin lid and know I lived a thousand lives before. 

~R.M. Brandon 2016~

Walking nightmare

Another sleepless night

The pain keeps me awake

The physical pain , body won't shut down

The emotional pain

The missed chances, the conversations never spoken, the memories unmade

All while trying to keep something that never existed in the first place

The family members I shut out 

Just to keep you

When you never cared to begin with

The days I could've held my children

 Instead of holding the hand of a lying man

The mistakes I made 

Trying to make you feel afraid of losing something you never cared about holding to begin with

The struggles I endured and things I gave up 

Just to make you smile 

You never smiled over anything like you did at her

The pain is my true best friend

It never goes away

Some days it's faded in the distance 

Waiting for me to forget just long enough to make the next memory hurt all the more

Another night wishing 

Hindsight is 20/20 yet when you're walking you have no idea you're blind

Another lifetime gone 

Time to start a new one, move on

I wonder when I pack my things to go

Will the pain stay 

Or will it be my best friend until my dying day

Ode to Annabel Lee

I will never be your Annabel lee

Love, true love was never meant for you and me

Accepting this truth 

Is a knife to my soul

Seething, burning accepting to let go

We loved with a love

That was never truly love

You and me

Two hearts oceans apart never meant to be

It's time to cut the tie that binds

Bid farewell to old times

Drift apart on this sea of life we may

Maybe meet again some sunny day

Saving you is drowning me

I must let go and learn to float free

For now my boat is filled with pain

Fighting to make sunshine out of rain

For our love was never love

Never meant to be 

Let's cut the ties that bind you to me

I wish you safe travels

Sunshine and better days

I wish you enough wind to carry you away

May the rain cleanse the memories away

I will fly to the sun

Just close enough to burn 

Close enough to embalm all I have learned 

Maybe one day day our paths will cross again

When love has found each of us again 

The memory won't haunt me then 

Of our love that wasn't love 

In the end

2016 r.m. Brandon