The pain keeps me awake
The physical pain , body won't shut down
The emotional pain
The missed chances, the conversations never spoken, the memories unmade
All while trying to keep something that never existed in the first place
The family members I shut out
Just to keep you
When you never cared to begin with
The days I could've held my children
Instead of holding the hand of a lying man
The mistakes I made
Trying to make you feel afraid of losing something you never cared about holding to begin with
The struggles I endured and things I gave up
Just to make you smile
You never smiled over anything like you did at her
The pain is my true best friend
It never goes away
Some days it's faded in the distance
Waiting for me to forget just long enough to make the next memory hurt all the more
Another night wishing
Hindsight is 20/20 yet when you're walking you have no idea you're blind
Another lifetime gone
Time to start a new one, move on
I wonder when I pack my things to go
Will the pain stay
Or will it be my best friend until my dying day
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