Thursday, December 30, 2010

As You Wish

The sky above explodes slowing the the world to a stand still. With hearts beating like the thunder rumbling across the sky their eyes meet. Not a word is spoken out loud yet volumes are exchanged. Her eyes, sky blue the reflection of the innocence that has been washed away. His the soft brown of the firm soil beneath them. The way she had always seen him, her safety,her protector, the ground beneath her feet to catch her if ever the wind blew her over. Now staring into those same eyes she felt the safety slipping away. The look, colder than the winter wind, froze the fire that burnt out of control consuming her soul from the inside. She felt the pain as her heart stopped beating in that moment. A single tear released from her eyes wandering down the ivory of her face carrying with it the remnants of her hope.

The necessity to heed to his internal affliction callused his heart to the pain lingering behind her soft blue eyes. He knew she understood. Relieved from having to speak the deceit coated lines he had rehearsed for her comfort he simply waited. Unsure if he was truly waiting for the vengeance he knew he deserved, the breakdown he anticipated, or simply for a consenting appeal for mercy. She would offer him none of these.

Reaching deep within her soul to pull her inner cloak over her steadily cracking heart, she smiled at him. Not a smile to comfort, or even a smile to frighten , but a smile of victory. An odd little smirk that conveyed to the world , you may break my bones, but you will never break my soul. As she turned her feet to walk away the sky let out a roar that shook the ground beneath his feet and he faltered to it. Above, clouds of blood covered the remnants of the evening sun followed by hues of gray steadily being overtaken by a black thick enough to extinguish all light. The auburn of her hair glowed with sienna of the sky as he peered up from his knees. Staring in awe as the reds followed her steady path away, he failed to notice the menacing void hovering above him.

Lifting himself from his knees feeling relief mingled confusion , he turned to retreat the opposite direction. With a single step the sky split above in an explosion of light so bright as to steal the sight from the eyes. Blinded, confused and deafened from the blast he stumbled towards what he thought was still the seaside path. Shaking his head to clear the vertigo and stepping wide to avoid falling he briefly felt the release of weightlessness. She glanced back over her shoulder just as his body plummeted over the steep cliff-side to the awaiting ocean below. Briefly she felt pity at his descent,loss at his ultimate demise. Tucking the shield tightly around her heart never again to drop for the vile likes of a man she consoled herself with the truth,he wanted his freedom.

~R.M.Brandon 12/29/10~

Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A beautiful life

How does one sum an entire existence into a few words? I have been blessed to live a hundred lives within the short time I have tallied on this earth. This section of the blog is to take you, my reader, deeper into the thralls of my subconscious. Ultimately to reveal to you, and maybe even myself, the fuel for the fire of my literary insanity. If anything you read within this blog makes you question my work, good, if it helps you question your life, great, if it makes you question reality, my mission is accomplished.
              Walking down the street, your breath visible in the chill on the wind, your overpriced coat wraps tightly around your healthy flesh. As you round a busy corner you notice a shell of a human peering up at you beneath ragged clothes. Her naturally straw colored hair is highlighted with punk colors vaguely bringing back memories of Rainbow Bright from your childhood. Her face is a thin tanned leather with worry lines far past her years already creasing the corners of her purple lips. Looking up at you with sky blue eyes sharp and bright like peering into a reflection pool, she holds out sock covered hand and asks simply, "Could you spare some change?". With disgust in your face you utter back ,"Get a job" as you scramble past her like running from the plague to your warm awaiting home. Briefly, your mind wanders through questions,"Where are her parents at, she must be older than she looks, Society is falling apart from all these leeches Why don't they fix it themselves?." Yet, You never stop to ask. So I will answer your questions.
                 Once, in another part of my hundred lives, I was that girl, here is what she was thinking as you hurried past. I am not invisible, am I? You approached and I could hear the change jingling in your pocket. The hunger pain in my stomach had become a constant reminder of the absence of the people who had brought me into this world. It was almost a comfort in its persistence as if to say it would always be there for me.  Part of me envied what you had achieved in life, the security, the steadiness of your gait, you must have friends waiting for you. The friends I had made on the street where running through my mind as you walked by. Street Kids, Uptown throw aways, we knew the names.
              It was one of those disposable people that weighed so heavily on my mind that particular day. She was two years younger than me at the time. Her story was far worse than mine, she had fled a sexually abusive home, to this. I had to protect her, to keep the world from hurting her anymore, but I was running from my own demons. She had become sick that week. The condemned apartment building we squatted in provided minimal resistance to a northeast winter chill and pneumonia was known to claim more that one each winter. The fever coursing her body had us all worried, but we had no where to go for help. If we took her to the doctor, like a few had done before, they would contact authorities who would either send her back to the abusive home she left or to kiddie lock down for being born into a crappy environment. No she was one of ours and we weren't going to let her down. She needed medicine, we had a guy that could get us the antibiotics we needed, but it wasn't cheap.
               We tried the safe house for help first. They were always great for letting us shower, giving us a warm meal, and helping us find education and yes even jobs. Rebuilding a life when you're not old enough in the eyes of the law to have one can take time. Time that you have to spend keeping yourself alive.  Wewere an odd makeshift family of lost souls.Kids and throw aways to the world, to you. Inside I still held hope that someone out there could look past thebag of bones that carried my essence through this world to my heart. Someone willing to see the diamond in the rough that was me. I digress, so back to the moment.
             As you walked by in your Armani suit, leather shoes casting a high polished shine to the sky, breif case clutched tightly by your side as if protecting the hope diamond,the chain in your pocket gave a sweet ring. The ring of hope. By the sound it was a few quarters, a couple of dimes, and a handful of pennies, not much in the grand scheme of things. When added to an entire family of misfits, six at the time, willing to sacrifice what little dignity they had left in this world keep another alive, it would have been plenty.
             We made enough by nightfall to get the medicine so your scoff did no harm. It did strike a cord in my soul I carry with me to this very day. I no longer wear rags, or sleep under the stars, unless I want to. I am now the person the hand is held out to. Each time I find myself confronted with that multilayered raggedy shell of a person I offer my hand out. It is not a hand out I give them, but a hand up. A tug back to their feet so they can walk on their own once again.
              In this life  we can be the change we want to see in the world, we can ignore the need, or we can the lift the weak that they might once again stand on their own two. You never know they might be the one to carry you some day.~R.M.Brandon~