Thursday, March 14, 2013

When Life Makes you an AssHat

When life has kicked you down and you feel as if everything has fallen apart, remember there is always someone who wishes they have it as good as you. Lately life has become an overwhelming catastrophe. Weathering the storm had become gasping for air as my head bobbed briefly above water.

It all started about three weeks ago. A close family member had a heart attack, the flu took up residence among my kids, the partner went down with kidney stones, the electricity went out of one of the bathroom walls courtesy of a mouse that didn't survive the last nibble, my pet bearded dragon of seven years passed away, the work load at my day job doubled, the engine went out of my car, and now I am down with the flu.

Wow that was a long sentence. In my fever induced delirium I meandered to the kitchen tripping over laundry in the hallway. Through blurry eyes with swear words lingering on the tip of my tongue I open the refrigerator door wanting nothing more than a cold drink. Empty. Briefly I swear I heard the ketchup bottle laugh at me. Point break. Tears welled in the corners of my eyes. Frustration mingled with abdominal spasms intensifying a fresh wave of nausea. Closing the refrigerator door self-pity rose to the fore front of my mind. Why is life so hard?

The flutter of a paper caught my eye. Hanging proudly on the outside of the door was a colored page by my youngest a giant heart and the words "I Love You Mom". In that moment I felt like a complete asshat. It was only months ago I didn't have a refrigerator or a stove. There was a time in life I didn't have a home. But it wasn't the things that made me feel like an ungrateful twit. It was the realization that everything I truly need in this world was right there on that colored page.

After all, isn't that the reason I work? The ability to give those little people every opportunity I can in this world. The flu is nothing in the grand spectrum of disease in this world. Having seen firsthand the effects of childhood cancer, Alzheimer’s, stroke, heart attack, MS, Cystic Fibrosis, and numerous other diseases how can I feel sorry for myself over a stomach bug?

After knowing firsthand the fear of sleeping with one eye open beneath a blanket of stars and the pain of going without food for weeks at a time, how can I be so blind?

What is my lesson in all this? There was a time in life I would've gladly accepted the problems I have now and laughed them off as mediocre. There was a time I wished I would have it as good as I do now. Yeah it has taken a lot to get here and by no means am I at the top. But in retrospect, even at its worse, life really is beautiful.


1 comment:

  1. Hang in there for life's problems always look smaller in the rear view mirror.

    If there were no problems in life there would not be much to write about.

    Susan Osborne