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Friday, July 22, 2016

Walking nightmare

Another sleepless night
The pain keeps me awake
The physical pain , body won't shut down
The emotional pain
The missed chances, the conversations never spoken, the memories unmade
All while trying to keep something that never existed in the first place

The family members I shut out 
Just to keep you
When you never cared to begin with

The days I could've held my children
 Instead of holding the hand of a lying man
The mistakes I made 
Trying to make you feel afraid of losing something you never cared about holding to begin with

The struggles I endured and things I gave up 
Just to make you smile 
You never smiled over anything like you did at her

The pain is my true best friend
It never goes away
Some days it's faded in the distance 
Waiting for me to forget just long enough to make the next memory hurt all the more

Another night wishing 
Hindsight is 20/20 yet when you're walking you have no idea you're blind
Another lifetime gone 
Time to start a new one, move on

I wonder when I pack my things to go
Will the pain stay 
Or will it be my best friend until my dying day

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